Small steps forward

So perhaps I was a bit melodramatic with my first 2010 post. My love for heartbreak isn't the same now as it was back in summer. It is tempered and much more cautious. I am constantly aware of the game -- the one I play with myself by engaging him in conversation and hanging out; the one he plays with himself by not wanting me to be with anyone else, but we aren't together. He recently told me that everyday, when he drives home from work, he wonders how he could've fucked all this up. I just stared at him and didn't say a word.

In other news, I went bowling with a couple guys from the service organization I belong to. Despite the fact that I had to invite myself, which seems impolite, they were very welcoming and fun to hang out with. And the guy who has rarely talked to me in before, during or after the weekly meetings, was quite the gentleman in leading me to the bowling alley. He even pulled over and waited for me to catch up, when I didn't make the light! A pleasant surprise. I wonder what future months will bring?