May 18, 2010

Wishes

I wish that you needed to talk to me everyday -- that returning my phone calls was essential to getting a good night's sleep. I wish that you told me how you feel -- how you still go back and forth on your decision, how you want so badly to be with me but are afraid of hurting me again. I wish that you sought me out during the day -- that spending some time one-on-one made an ok day better. I wish that you included me in your life more -- invitations to attend family functions and do mundane tasks together. I wish that you looked at me with as much yearning and love as you used to -- a drug-induced euphoria, in a way. I wish so many things that will not ... cannot ... come true.