1) Never did read the owner's manual.
2) Forgot what I wanted to say.
3) Tried writing about love; vomited everywhere.
4) I will still complete my dissertation.
5) A girl can keep dreaming, right?
6) Drunk on life. Now in rehab.
7) Evolution is the price of immortality.
8) I love you doesn't mean forever.
I think mine would be: Bitter with baggage seeks happiness, love.
Then again, it could just as easily be: Thanks but I didn't order water. [In reference to if the the glass is half empty or half full.]